April Fool's Day

Hello, this is Gene Roddenberry's #1 Fan and today is April Fool's Day!  Today I am going to tell a funny fan fiction story of an anti-Halo nature of course.  This will be partly inspired by the conclusion of the Star Trek TOS Episode "The Way To Eden" in which the plants on the Eden planet were made of acid.  I call those acid plants "Halo Plants" and the acid flowers that burned Chekhov "Halo Flowers".  The fruit on that Eden planet is called "Titan AE Fruit" since it is so poisonous that it kills you with only one bite into it.  I HATE Titan AE for a variety of reasons, one of which is the needless destruction of Earth.  Gene Roddenberry would have hated Titan AE too.

Our story opens when Pavel Chekhov is on a pier getting aroused by a flashy Colo Claw Fish.  Chekhov and the Colo Claw have a conversation since they are friends.  The Colo Claw asked, "Chekhov, You and Scotty both crack me up, but I want to know, how is that your Star Trek is able to stand up and not crumble in the face of Halo which is a far more powerful adversary?  I sense terrible readings in which you might need help in order to carry on."  Chekhov answered, "We have allies such as Star Fox who help us when things get really drastic, we are very inclusive and that helps us to reach out for help when we need it.  Yes something terrible is happening to us, you got that one right.  Even as we speak, Star Fox is helping us right now."  The Colo Claw replied with concern, "Chekhov, I still have a really bad feeling about this, even with help from allies like Star Fox, you are still getting hammered by the battle hardened cosmic armadas of the Halo Empire.  Maybe Star Wars can assist, which would probably be your only hope for overthrowing that war-addicted and military-obsessed sci-fi empire known as Halo.  It disgusts me that Halo frequently receives the Game Of The Year Award."  Chekhov responded, "Colo, Star Trek and Star Wars have a long history of hating each other, I am not sure that will work out.  At times, Star Wars has given Star Trek a hard time, frequently so."  The Colo Claw stated, "I know of the Star Trek and Star Wars rivalry, but the more I think about it, the more frivolous and silly it becomes.  I know that this will be hard on you guys, but you got to hear me out.  The real enemy of Star Trek is not Star Wars, it is Halo which threatens to militarize the entire space genre, I am calling for Star Peace."  Chekhov added, "Colo Claw, you are right and have a good point, the Star Trek council will consider your proposal of joining forces with Star Wars and will probably rule in your favor due to the fact that Halo is breathing down our necks."  The Colo Claw said, "Please contact the Star Trek high council and inform them of my proposal so that they can vote on it as soon as possible."  Chekhov called the Star Trek high council to inform them of a Colo Claw Fish's proposal for peace between Star Trek and Star Wars in the face of the Halo wrath.

Meanwhile, I mysterious figure carried a vase filled with peculiar yellow flowers as he approached Chekhov on the pier.  The guy did not say a word as he delivered the flowers to Chekhov.  The guy set the flowers down and said, "Mr Chekhov, I have a special delivery for you.  I am giving these flowers to you as a gift."  Chekhov said, "That is generous, thanks."  Chekhov waited for the guy to leave sight before looking at the flowers.

One the mysterious man was out of sight, Chekhov said, "Colo Claw, someone gave me a vase with flowers, I would like your feedback."  The Colo Claw was suspicious of the nature of the delivery and said, "Chekhov, the guy who gave them to you was malicious, I heard it in his voice that he was hiding his real intentions.  They smell like acidic Halo plants to me.  Please exercise caution."  Checkov said, "I will be careful and look for any tags on the vase first."  Chekhov then found a string around the neck of the vase and saw a card saying "Happy April Fool's Day You Acorn Head".  Chekhov said, "Colo Claw, you are probably right, I read a card that it wished me April Fool's Day and called me an "acorn head"."  The Colo Claw replied, "Chekhov, if that is the case, do not touch the flowers, they are Halo Flowers and will burn you is you touch them.  My suspicions have been confirmed, that is nothing more than a cruel April Fool's Day prank pulled by a member of the Halo Empire."  Chekhov accidentally touched one of the flowers and screamed, "AHHHH!  That really burned!  I accidentally bumped my hand into one of the Halo Flowers in the vase and it is like fire!  Colo Claw, you are right, these flowers are malevolent.  I will have them beamed to the ship for further examination and saved as evidence of Halo's malicious intent.  Enterprise, I have a vase with Halo Flowers to beam up and take to the lab for further examination and as evidence of Halo's activities."  The Halo Flowers were beamed up and taken to the lab.

The Colo Claw said, "Chekhov, that was very wise to have the Halo Flowers beamed to the Enterprise for further examination and hopefully they will find the DNA of the individual that delivered them to you.  I want peace and that is why I am so against Halo for promoting endless war.  And let's not take any course of action that will lead us to war since that would be exactly what Halo wants."  Chekhov relied, "If Krik can always find a way when so much is at steak, then we shall certainly find a way to avoid war and shut Halo down for good, since war will only feed the Halo Empire and make it stronger."   Chekhov and the Colo Claw Fish continued to have quality time together.